Mission Progress

  • Windurst Rank 10, Complete.
  • Bastok Rank 10, Complete.
  • San d'Oria Rank 10, Complete.
  • Rise of the Zilart, Complete.
  • Chains of Promathia, Complete.
  • Treasure of Aht Urghan, Complete.
  • Assault Rank, First Lieutenant.
  • Campaign Rank, Wings of Honor ∮∮∮∮

Salvage Progress - Skadi's Cuirie Set

  • 15 - O - O - C - O = Skadi's Visor
  • COMPLETED = Skadi's Cuirie
  • COMPLETED = Skadi's Bazubands
  • O - 25 - O - O - O = Skadi's Chausses
  • COMPLETED = Skadi's Jambeaux

Salvage Progress - Morrigan's Robe Set

  • O - O - 35 - C - G = Morrigan's Crown
  • 15 - 25 - 35 - C - G = Morrigan's Robe
  • 15 - 25 - 35 - C - G = Morrigan's Cuffs
  • O - O - 35 - O - G = Morrigan's Slops
  • O - O - 35 - O - G = Morrigan's Pigaches

Friday, May 29, 2009

Triple B, Series 1, Round 1

I know! I know! You're asking yourself, "What the WTF is Triple B". Well! See, it stands for Brutal Ballista Brawls and I created it! How so? Well, that's another great question! See, with all these people nagging me to make a post and me asking, "What would you like to read about?" and them saying, "ME!" I thought "Boy! I sure wish there was some way I could just smash in all their faces and watch them writhe about in pain..." And so as I imagined the awesome gorrific details in my head I thought...thats it! I'll write about that! And hence Triple B was born.

I also figured, since a lot of people make me angry (well, not angry really...I'm just a mean, evil person) I could make this a regular thing! After all, other peoples misery (fictional or not) is always entertaining to those not affected!

So! Without further ado, let's join our two Triple B Annoucers Jim and Bob for the action!

~ ~ ~

Bob >> Welcome Ladies, Gentlemen and Galka's from all walks of Vana'diel to the first ever Brutal Ballista Brawl showcase! We've got a hell of a list of Adventurer's in todays line up! From top of the line Relic Wielder, to bottom of the barrel Dancers no one has ever heard of! And today, they're going to lay it all on the line for...well our entertainment!

Jim >> And the best part is, they don't really have much of a choice!

Bob >> That's right Jim! So, why don't we take a look at our Adventurer's in todays match?

Jim >> In Round One, we have Four Matches; Match A consists of a hotshot Paladin from San d'Oria! He's a local from way down south someplace, who enjoys long strolls through the pasture and spending qaulity time with the 'family'.

Bob >> Oh, I bet he does! Izman is one hell of a tank, but will he be able to outlast his opponent? A daring, charming young Mithran Dancer from Windurst! Shrew! She's recently traded in her Elemental Staves for a pair of Dance shoes! We'll see how she fairs against the veteran Tin Can from Sandy!

Jim >> Match B has an interesting setup! From the far far away lands of...to be honest, I don't know where he comes from! Hard hitting, dirt sucking Warrior Clubber! Always a crowd favorite.

Bob >> That's right Jim! His numbers always seem to be the highest, but his survivability rate is usually somewhere around 5 seconds.

Jim >> And that's tops! But, we'll see what happens. His opponent today, Iceblazek, is sure to have some tricky cards up his sleeves.

Bob >> Always a thinker that one. Planning every and researching any possible way to overcome his foe. And when that doesn't nessicarily work, he's always got gil to drop on a solution. We'll see if it helps him with his opponent today.

Jim >> Match C features what today will be, perhaps our shortest match!

Bob >> Shorter then Clubbers life expentency in End Game?

Jim >> Ok, well maybe not that short...

Bob >> But damn close! Our first Adventurer is a long time Dynamis Veternan and proud--

Jim >> As proud as one can be wearing Purple...

Bob >> And proud owner of a Gungnir...Qtipus! Decked out in his Cuirass, he's actually got a fairly respectable opponent today!

Jim >> Correct you are Bob! Darkdawn! World class multi-classer! The biggest surprise for this match is going to be which job Darkdawn shows up as!

Bob >> And for the final Match of the day, Match D we've got what is being called the Battle of the Sex..iest two men to ever grace Vana'diel's soil!

Jim >> In one corner -- sporting the ever popular, ever respected, heralded and even worshipped, Beard of the Beards -- Arminius!

Bob >> And opposite him, he who needs no introduction...The Ninjafox himself. Just one whisper from that beasts lips and any soul -- man or woman -- melts like a hershies bar on a hot sunday afternoon sidewalk!

Jim >> Speaking of the action! It seems Match A has already started!

Bob >> ...

Jim >> ...

Bob >> And...is already over.

Jim >> Oh! Now that's just embarassing right there. Poor little furball couldn't even take half the beating Izman had in store for her.

Bob >> Apparently not Jim. Iron Will Izman, as he's sometime called, seems to have an Iron Fist behind that shield. All it took was a shield bash to the face and that poor kitten is going to be intensive care for weeks on end!

Jim >> I think perhaps she's given a whole new meaning to the letters L, O and L. Let's hope Match B lasts a bit longer!

Bob >> Speaking of, it seems Iceblazek has shown up Thief to this little exursion! Well, that's an odd choice considering how heavy of a hitter Clubber there is.

Jim >> Well, I don't know now Bob...he hits hard. But it's also pretty slow. I think Iceblazek is going to rely on his agility and evasiveness to come out on top here.

Bob >> And there's Clubber opening up with a meditate, and shouting his signature line, "It's Clubbering Time!"

Jim >> There goes the Steel Cyclone...the moment of truth!

Bob >> And Iceblazek's ninja subjob gives him the edge he needs! That TP was totally waste ---wait! Wait a minute whats this?!

Jim >> Clubber is down!? Iceblazek didn't even need to take a swing!

Bob >> Well, this is quite an interesting discovery...perhaps all those times it wasn't Clubber just pulling hate from hard hits and dying.

Jim >> No, it would seem not Bob. Apparently, he just swings so goddamn hard he tuckers himself right out.

Bob >> Well! Whatever the reason, Iceblazek walks away the victor in this case! Lets move on over to Match C.

Jim >> I just got word Match C is being delayed...apparently Darkdawn hasn't shown up. Qtipus is down in the ring now awaiting the appearance of his opponent.

Bob >> This here Jim, could be both a blessing and a curse. It gives Qtipus the time he needs to gain control over his mental state and think out all possible strategies based on what job Darkdawn brings to the ring...

Jim >> Right you are Bob! But the real question going through his head right now...Gungnir or Valkyries Fork?

Bob >> Meanwhile! We've got Arminius "The Beard" and Ninjafox "Dark Chocolate" taking thier places in Match D right now.

Jim >> Foxy looks pretty intimidated by that beard, Bob.

Bob >> He sure does. It's not an easy thing stepping into the ring with that bush. But, still, Ninjafox does have a look of confidence about him...

Jim >> He's saying something...I...I can't quite make it out, it's more of a whisper...

Bob >> Wait a minute! What have we here! Arminius seems to be struggling with something...oh! No way!

Jim >> His beard seems to be peeling itself off from his face! It's...it's leaving Arminius! The beird is parting with it's host!

Bob >> Ninjafox must've whispered gentle sweet nothings to it...I told you nothing can withstand his sexy voice!

Jim >> Apparently not! Arminius' beard has just attached itself to Ninjafox's face! He's got double the sex appeal now!

Bob >> Seems to me Arminius just can't take it! He's turn his Hagun on himself! Oooh! That's just brutal!

Jim >> This is a first! We've never had a adventurer commit seppuku!

Bob >> Can you blame him Jim? He loses his beard and THEN has to look onto that...incredibly...sexy...motherfucker...

Jim >> Bob! Control yourself!

Bob >> Ah! Sorry there Jim...for a second I got carried away...

Jim >> It's bad enough half the female spectators were just instantly impregnated by Foxy's piercing glare. Keep your lid on!

Bob >> You're right Jim! Let's take a look over at Match C!

Jim >> Mm, Darkdawn is still a no show. It seems our referee's our declaring Qtipus the winner here.

Bob >> Well, sadly, it seems like our viewers are robbed of the main event tonight! As deadly and calculating as Darkdawn is -- he's just as notorious for taking way to long to get dressed!

Jim >> With a wardrobe as extensive as his, you got to cut the guy some slack!

Bob >> Well! That wraps up todays matches! Be sure to tune in next time for Round 2!

Jim >> Match ups will include the mighty Iron Will Izman verse Iceblazek! And Qtipus verse Hot Chocolate himself! Till next time!

~ ~ ~

And that's that folks! Hope you enjoyed it! If you did, I'll make this regular thing as I had a lot of fun writing it!

23 comments:

The Champ said...

lol I can't even begin to think of what Foxy whispered to the beard but I'm sure it had the word cum in it some where that it did not belong.


-Iz

Qtipus said...

awesome

Arminius said...

My beard is far too Lovecraftian to fall for that. ;)

Still very humorous read. ^^

ice said...

lol that was great

Darkdawn said...

lol funny stuff kallo just wait until i get my next token and ill take new fight on gear change times.

Sene said...

Wait wait, and you say I'm silly on my blog? ..... You... You...

*Just shakes head and wanders off*

Shrew said...

Oh you cruel bastard! This is revenge, isn't it!?

Still lol though, I couldn't imagine winning against Izman anyway XD

Anonymous said...

wow

Anonymous said...

Hello,nice post thanks for sharing?. I just joined and I am going to catch up by reading for a while. I hope I can join in soon.

日本ダービー said...

第77回 日本ダービー 2010 予想、オッズ、厳選買い目は?人気が平然と馬券に絡む理由とは!?見事に展開を読んで結果を的中させる

SM度チェッカー said...

最近普通のプレイに物足りなさを感じているそこのアナタ、ワンランク上のプレイをしてみませんか?そんな時の目安にSM度チェッカーを使うんです。自分の深層心理を暴きパートナーとのプレイ時のアドバイスも付きますよ!!一度どうですか

玉の輿度チェッカー said...

世の中手っ取り早く、簡単に金持ちに為ったもん勝ち!!そのためのツールが玉の輿度チェッカーです。心理カウンセラーを雇い、一人一人どうすれば人に好かれるか、最終的に結婚へのプロセスに持っていくかのアドバイスを期間限定で無料サービス中です。上手く玉の輿に乗っければ儲けもんです、一度試してみよう

mコミュ said...

mコミュは無料登録で友達を沢山作る事のできる掲示板サイトです。使った事のない人でも簡単に使う事ができるのでお気軽にお立ち寄りください

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチの出合いは他の出合い系サイトのものよりも確実に良い思いができるのは間違いありません。新しい出合いを求めたいと思っているのなら当サイトを利用してください。損はさせませんよ

mコミュ said...

素敵な出 会 いで愛を育む♪理想の人と楽しめる関係を築きませんか?mコミュでしか味わえない幸せを掴みましょう

mixi said...

mixiをも凌駕する出会い率!!出会いをするならここしかない♪mixiより出会えてしまうこのサイト。一度ハマれば辞めれません。スタービーチで素敵な出会いをしちゃいましょう

スタビ said...

スタビが今一番アツイのはご存じでしょうか?夏休みで出会いを探している娘とすぐに会えちゃうんです。登録無料でここまで出会える所は他には存在しません。今登録して良いパートナーに巡り合おう

gree said...

greeで素敵な時間を過ごしたい・・・そんな願望を叶えてくれるサイト誕生!!今までにないドキドキ感と興奮をこのグリーで楽しみましょう

スタービーチ said...

スタービーチで始まる素敵な出 合いをしていきませんか。楽しめる出 合いを経験するにはココから始まる!!最高の出 合いがあなたを待っている

モバゲー said...

もう夏休みも終わりに近づき、この夏最後の思い出を作りたいと焦ってる方が、モバゲーのコミュニティーに書かれてましたよ!!折角なんで夏の思い出作りに協力して自分も美味しい思いをしてみるのはどうですか?大手スポンサーサイトが付いてるので全部タダですよ

グリー said...

最近はどこのSNSサイトも規制ばっかりで、ちょっと出 合いに関して書き込みするとアク禁食らうけど、夏休み終盤に差し掛かり色々なサイトを調べた結果、グリーだけはどうも規制が緩んでるみたいです。今がチャンスの時期ですよ

ツイッター said...

ツイッターで出 合 いを求めるのです。気の合う異性と交流して楽しいひと時をお過ごしください。登録無料で使えるので気軽さは100点満点!

mコミュ said...

mコミュでならご近所さんと出会える確率99%!友達や恋人を探してる人はここで見つけてみませんか