"On The Pimp: Thief."

As a sort of tribute to my good friend, and in many cases, mentor Ringthree, I wanted to do my own take on a little project he's started entitled "On the Cheap". Now, Ringthree has written a few guides for jobs were he instructs the casual end game player on how to properly outfit said job without being super OMFG uber. This is not to say that you won't have to invest a pretty penny sometimes, but for the most part it does stay true to his title.

Unlike, Ringthree though, I don't want to teach you to justify your gimpiness. Sorry. But that shit just don't fly with me. So, I present to you...

On The Pimp; Thief.

First let's cover the rules of "On The Pimp."

1. You can't be gimp. Sorry, if you are gimp, I can't help you. If you are the kind of person that hears something and then sticks to it no matter what, just quit now. If you can't adapt to changes in the game, quit. If you refuse to do something because something isn't worth that much gil, then just fucking die in a fire. MONEY is key, the more we have in the game, the more we fucking pwn all over the gimpy-ass newbs!

2. You have to really be an end-game player. I am expecting you to have every title in the game, and have done every mission everywhere, I do expect you to have done main story-line content. This should be a goal of an end-game player at the very least. Zilart should be finished. CoP should be finished. Aht Urghan should be finished. If you don't have these, or at least most of it and trying to get to the end, then you aren't an end-game player, you are just lazy or your are just making pretend. So DIAF.

3. You have to be able to do ALL end-game events. I am not demanding that you be in a full-time HNM LS, you should at least CO-OWN it. If you don't then you really aren't an end-game player, you are just a player with a job at 75.

4. You have to be willing to spend gil. Not just a LOT of gil. All of it. That's why it's called the Pimp. I am going to tell you to get all HQ gear, regardless of price, and I will also indicate expensive items that you will need anyway. This is like the Frugal Gourmet for FFXI. Yes, I know, none of you got that reference. :(*

*This has nothing to do with MY guide, I just wanted to leave it in so we all know how much of a nerd Ringthree is.

Ok! Now on with the show!

1. Weapon
Is there really ANY need to discuss this? Mandau. Vajra. Let's move on.

What? Ok! No, you're right, you're right. Ok, X's Knife is very, very good. But, we're not trying to maximize our potential here, we're trying to be Pimp. X's Knife is good, but technically...it's free. So, fork over the Millions of Gil for Mandau and Vajra, gimp.

The only real problem here is which do you Main Hand and which do you Off Hand? Honestly...switch it up a bit. Mon\Wed\Fri Mandau, Tue\Thu\Sat, Vajra. Midnight to Noon, Mandau. Noon to Midnight, Vajra. Done deal.

2. Ranged\Ammo
Now to be trully PIMP, you can't just have one...so, what you're going to need is a Ziska's Crossbow, of course. Then you'll also want a Fire Bomblet for TP and then a Bomb Core for WS. Since you won't lose TP just switching your Ammo. Moving on.

3. Head
This one is really a no brainer...for TP you're going to want a Walahra Turban, I know, I know...doesn't cost much. But, really, you won't be standing around in Whitegate in your W. Turban -- because your WS piece is the big shiner! Hecatomb Cap +1. The real goal of being truly Pimp is so get that White Box around EVERYTHING. Ok, Professional Pimp Kat Williams will be the first to tell you -- the more shine, the better. Every day you be hustlin'.

4. Neck
Now, it's at the neck we sort of run into another problem with the TP set...the best choice is going to be a Love Torque...however, Love Torques aren't really that far out of your grasp if you put in enough work. So, I suggest spending a few million on the Ancient Torque. Not as good...sure, but remember, it's not about functionality. It's about status. So if anyone tries to tell you other wise, just say you screwed thier mom. For WS, go ahead and use this, the Love Torque, or better yet, spend money to get people to farm you organs for the WS Gorgets.

5. Earrings
Ok, first and most obvious choice...buy all your ABCs and get a Brutal Earring -- other accessories though they won't cost you much gil, are Delta Earring and Suppanomimi. You can also purchase a Pixie Earring from a local HNM shell.

Now, to be truly Pimp -- screw ALL of these and just drop your gil into two Androit Earrings +1. Again, keep that White Shimmering Box in mind all the time.

6. Body
I'm going to be met with a bit of resistance here...but, it's got to be said. For WS Gear -- you're going to want to make a judgement call. Skadi's Body is easily the best...however, Hecatomb +1 may be more gil depending on your server. So check prices -- there's also something to be said about a person who has FULL +1 gear, rather then someone who is missing one piece. For TP I'd go for the Antares Harness, nice and expensive piece. If only we had some way to HQ it.

7. Hands
This one should be a no brainer to everyone! Dusk Gloves +1 and Hecatomb Mittens +1 is going to easily cost you around 30 Mil. If you even have to question this, just give up and go play WoW.

8. Rings
Do Thunder Rings have a HQ Version? Find out. Buy them. That's for WS, of course, for TP you're going to need two Sniper Rings +1. You can't afford not to have them.

9. Back
With the addition of the WotG Campaign Ops BCNM in each of the Allied Nations -- we now have one of the most expensive back pieces! Cuchulain's Mantle! Easy 3-4 Mil for WS...but...for TP, and standing around in Whitegate you'll need to pick up a Cerberus Mantle +1. Gotta have those White Boxes lined up for the /check after all.

10. Waist
No discussion here. Sonic Belt +1. Don't even take it off for WS. Anyone who ever checks you needs to see this and only this. Period.

11. Legs
Sadly, Skadi's Legs are very affordable and all the other pieces for TP in this slot are virtually free. So, go with the Skadi's as they say more about how much time you dedicate to playing. The WS piece is a no brainer -- as long as you've been following this guide you should know...Hecatomb +1, duh.

12. Feet
This will of course round out the Hecatomb +1, completing our WS Gear and FULL HQ Hecatomb. As for TP...all the good options are more or less free. Buy a pair of Strider's Boots, just so you can run circles around all the gimpies. It just doesn't make sense to come to the final gear slow and NOT spend money on it, you know?

Now, you have to realize -- playin' the game within the game and being a playa is a very difficult job. This guide here, really only serves to get you started...it's a foreword, more than anything. So as you start pimping yourself out you need to keep in mind that other then a TP and WS set there's a LOT more you need to focus on...below are only a few other sets you should invest some time and money into.

• Haste Set for TP Gain
• Accuracy Set for TP Gain
• Attack Set for Parsing Closer to other DDs
• Ranged Accuracy Set
• Kiting Set
• Solo Set
• Shark Bite WS Set
• Dancing Edge WS Set
• Evisceration WS Set
• TP Set Geared toward Off Handing your Ridill
• TP Set Geared toward Off Handing your Kraken Club
• Evasion Set
• Sneak Attack Solo Set
• Trick Attack Solo Set
• Enmity Gear Set
• SATA Solo Set
• SA WS Set
• TA WS Set
• SATA WS Set

So, with all of this under your belt...I wish you luck. =) Once again, this has been "On the Pimp; Thief."